When I was even more afraid of flying as a teenager and young adult, I also used to fly first class in a coping mechanism that I like to call "classical conditioning". I pampered myself in first class, with calming drugs (legal), and all the food and (free) drinks I wanted in first class. That way, I sort of came to think, "Hmm, flying's not all bad!" And it got easier for me from there on out. It was very smart and effective of me. I also learned that you just need to let go and focus on something else like writing something -- it can't be reading, it has to be something to take your FULL attention like reading mathematical formulas or doing analysis on SPSS. This time around I was reading about squared semipartial correlations in determining effect size of interaction effects. It took my mind off of the flight. Another strategy I use is imagining how much smoother the flight is than many roads -- bumps in the air are just "air gravel", as I refer to them in my head. When we have turbulence I just repeat, "Air gravel. Air gravel." A final thing I'll mention is that I tell myself, "This is so fun! This is fun." Whenever I start to get scared. Even though I don't believe it, I try to take a page out of the smile literature that says you can increase your mood by just smiling -- the old theory that emotion is caused by interpretations of your behaviors (and in my case, my thoughts). You see yourself smiling, so you interpret that you must be happy. I hear myself saying this is fun, and I interpret that maybe I am having fun! It seems to be doing good things for me.
Back to today. I've made some good choices today:
- Slept in for another 1.5 hours this morning, longer than I was planning to.
- Twice I chose not to get calorie-laden beverages that sounded amazing (a variety of seasonal flavored lattes that sound amazing and have whipped cream).
- Picked up healthy food for dinner and breakfast tomorrow from the grocery store rather than eating out (which had been my plan). Got a ready-made spinach salad with cranberries, glazed pecans, feta, and balsamic. Some curry cashews, and a banana. Got Greek yogurt, Amy's tofu/pea/rice meal, and a bowl of strawberries, raspberries, and blueberries for breakfast.
- Took a 45-minute nap tonight which I awoke from feeling surprisingly awake and good.
- Went back to coffee shop to keep on track so I can study for about 4 more hours tonight.
- Picked up my parking permit for tomorrow so that I don't have to worry about that before my meeting tomorrow.
I will probably take a long nap tonight, based on how awake I'm feeling. I don't really feel tired. I wonder what I did during the nap that made me feel so good. Usually I feel really groggy after naps. I guess I picked the right amount of time.
The only bad thing right now is that I feel this very strong squeezing in the bottom of my throat, below the collarbone. It comes on all of a sudden and usually stays for 15 minutes to a couple hours. It's incredibly distracting because it feels like you're choking or like something's blocking your throat. It's these waves of intense squeezing. I don't know what causes it. The only thing I've ever noticed as a potential cause would be eating too quickly. I'm a really slow eater naturally. I ate my dessert tonight quickly because it is quiet like a library in here and I wanted to get it over with so I didn't bother the people here, so I ate quicker than normal. I wonder if that's what caused it... Well, it's been going on a while so I have an appointment for a procedure to get it looked at later this month so hopefully they'll rule out anything that could be problematic.
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