An eclectic mess and 100 pages later...

I'm still working through this semi-final draft for my advisor. I've spent my reserves of mental processing on it already. It has GREATLY improved since last week's version, and I do feel much better about it. I don't know how long it is because it's saved in separate documents right now, but my draft has got to be over 100 pages by now (including tables and appendices).

Although, right now I am not feeling good about doing any more work on this. I need to send it to my advisor today, but I'm absolutely feeling "finished" (mentally) and my attention is waning. I need to graph four significant interaction effects and I laughed because I found a little bit of an oxymoron in my multivariate textbook that I'm referencing. A section called, "Simple Regression Equations." Oh, you mean those regression equations? Those are just plain simple! It made me laugh :). I mean, they really are pretty simple, but my brain is allllllready gooooone (to the tune of the Eagles hit). However, unlike their song, I'm not "feeling strong" and I'm certainly not whooping and hollering. I might be whimpering and crying, but I certainly am not anywhere near to singing a victory song. All I can do is hope that I still have the energy left to center some variables, calculate the intercept and slope for three different levels of the moderator variable, solve three slope formulas for 1 standard deviation below the mean, at the mean, and 1 standard deviation above the mean, and graph it all. And then repeat that process four times...ugh! Even just describing it makes me want to give up and go buy some Taco Bell and watch Law and Order to remind myself that there are worse things (murder) than this in the world. I wish I were kidding about the last part, but I'm in such a "giving up" and totally burned out state that I DO need that reminder!

Also, I'm eating a very eclectic meal. For lunch I didn't want to cook so I heated up a Kashi Pesto Pasta Primavera meal (whole grain penne pasta, basil pesto sauce, shredded Parmesan, peas, red bell pepper, carrots) and added this to it:

• Crumbled tofu
• Olive oil (okay, so far so good, right?)
• Whole wheat cous-cous
• Curry, cayenne, chili powder, ginger, cinnamon
• Flaxseed (whole and ground)
• Sundried tomatoes
• Pickled artichokes
• Pickled asparagus
• Cranberries
• Raisins

I haven't been feeling great lately so I try to insert foods into my diet that I know are good for me. I hope this is giving me good nutrition, because it doesn't taste that good due to the pickled flavor and all... Oh man, I am so spacey right now. I can't keep this up much longer, but at the same time I want to finish the draft ASAP so that I can relax. It's a constant dilemma, minute-by-minute: Take a break and save your sanity or push through and relax later? Okay I need to pull it together. I'm going to (1) graph my interactions, (2) do a "save as" and clean up my draft, (3) spend 45 minutes making edits from L and advisor, and (4) edit it myself one time for no more than 30 minutes. Then I will send it by 4:00. I'll have to finish the rest of the edits starting tomorrow because I'm spent. I worked on this draft for about 6 hours on Monday, about 13 hours yesterday, and so far about 5 hours today. Argh! I'm going brain dead.

I'm itchy for some reason, but I have a beautiful view all day that I'm very thankful for. I'm telling myself that if I finish this and send it by 4, I can go get fast food and watch TV and do some trip planning as my reward. And then I can go to sleep early. Tomorrow, I start again on my final draft... :(

P.S. - I wish there were a Burgerville nearby...mmm. Gourmet fast food. They have the best Oregon marionberry milkshakes. They also have TWO delicious choices for vegetarians: (1) Yukon & White Bean Patty, Basil Aioli, Tomato & Lettuce on a Toasted Wheat Kaiser Bun AND (2) Spicy Anasazi Bean Patty, Pepper Jack Cheese, Chipotle Mayonnaise, Lettuce and Tomato on a Sesame Seed Bun. Of course, they also have sweet potato fries and delicious side salads with balsamic vinaigrette. And they use Tillamook cheese (YUM!). They also have wild salmon and hazelnut salads, for fish eaters. I love Burgerville! I love the "local"-ness of it. I know that's very Portlandian of me to say, but it's true. Marionberries, hazelnuts, berries, Tillamook, wild salmon, vegetarian...seriously, I can't imagine a better fast food place. http://www.burgerville.com/our-food/menu/